vanity

i tanned
last summer
and thought of nothing but you

i put on shorts and a bathing suit
for the first time in years
baring shoulders
legs
arms
stomach
the tops of breasts

for you
for vanity

and it took more
than the fading of my skin
more than summer into fall
for you to becomes
further than my second thought

but increasingly
i dedicate every glance in the mirror
every carefully placed strand of hair
every dip of neckline
every rise of hemline

to my own vanity