black

i am a black flame flickering
my body--
shoulders, breasts, calves and ankles--
my hips like knives--
my vanity--
cast dark shadows on the wall,
--inately ridiculous--
a flicker/echo of my mind
in silhouette
my anger

what do you want from me?

. . . . .

lifting my arms i change
(faceless, nameless, wingless)
into something that flies

i don't understand the way you move

a black rain shivering
deep, in porous bones
when i try to tell you my Name
(there are holes in my soul
where the wings used to be,
where the gifts used to be,
the ones we were never meant to have)

. . . . .

the meaning flies right out of my head... i can make pretty words, but i couldn't hold the point i had in my hands minutes ago

i am so fucking frustrated at the moment, i don't want to talk about it

(that was supposed to be one poem at one point)